Rumors can be fun to read when you're in a long line at the grocery store and you're leafing through tabloid magazines.
Rumors are NEVER fun to read or hear about when they concern your partner. Finding out "through the grapevine" that your man has been lying to you and possibly even cheating can be devastating.
First of all, nobody wants to hear that her partner is having an affair second-hand, third-hand... or at all.
Secondly, it is usually confusing and fear-inducing to hear rumors like this about your mate. You may be left upset and wondering what you can believe.
Whether the rumor is being spread by your best friend, a casual acquaintance or even your worst enemy, you might come away asking yourself if you should listen to what was said or not.
This question may be at the forefront of your mind: "Should I listen to the rumors?"
Our answer to this is a cautious "yes."
If someone has brought to your attention some piece of information that involves your man and your relationship, you probably want to offer it some consideration. But, by all means, don't take any radical actions because of a rumor.
It is completely possible that what you are hearing is absolutely inaccurate. It is also completely possible that what you are hearing is accurate.
You might have played a game called "telephone" when you were a child. If not, here's how it goes: kids sit in a
horizontal line. The first person in the line, leans over and whispers a message in the ear of the person next.
Rumors are NEVER fun to read or hear about when they concern your partner. Finding out "through the grapevine" that your man has been lying to you and possibly even cheating can be devastating.
First of all, nobody wants to hear that her partner is having an affair second-hand, third-hand... or at all.
Secondly, it is usually confusing and fear-inducing to hear rumors like this about your mate. You may be left upset and wondering what you can believe.
Whether the rumor is being spread by your best friend, a casual acquaintance or even your worst enemy, you might come away asking yourself if you should listen to what was said or not.
This question may be at the forefront of your mind: "Should I listen to the rumors?"
Our answer to this is a cautious "yes."
If someone has brought to your attention some piece of information that involves your man and your relationship, you probably want to offer it some consideration. But, by all means, don't take any radical actions because of a rumor.
It is completely possible that what you are hearing is absolutely inaccurate. It is also completely possible that what you are hearing is accurate.
You might have played a game called "telephone" when you were a child. If not, here's how it goes: kids sit in a
horizontal line. The first person in the line, leans over and whispers a message in the ear of the person next.
That person then whispers the message to the person directly beside him or her.
The message is passed down the line and the person at the very end of the row speaks aloud what he or she heard. The amusing part of this game is that the message spoken aloud at the end of the line just about never matches what was originally said.
As you know, rumors are anything but amusing most of the time. What was initially said or seen may or may not be what ends up reaching your ears.
The message is passed down the line and the person at the very end of the row speaks aloud what he or she heard. The amusing part of this game is that the message spoken aloud at the end of the line just about never matches what was originally said.
As you know, rumors are anything but amusing most of the time. What was initially said or seen may or may not be what ends up reaching your ears.
In fact, the man who was seen having a "romantic" lunch with another woman may not have even been your man at all!
It absolutely makes sense to withhold your judgment of what is actually going on until you have more reliable information to add to the rumor.
Pay attention to the messenger.
Another reason why rumors are often untrue is because, unfortunately, there are some people who do not have your best interests at heart.
Find out who first saw this alleged encounter between your man and another person. Is it possible that the person might have ulterior motives for spreading information like this about him?
Even if you completely trust the person from whom you are hearing this, stop and think about it before taking any action. Could it be that even your best friend-- who was recently cheated on herself-- is just not perceiving things accurately?
Let's be clear here...
Even if you believe that the person spreading the rumors about your man is not a friend and does not have your best interests at heart, we still advise you to check it out. Find out for yourself if there's any merit to what is being
said.
Watch for triggers.
We all have sore spots. This might involve jealousy and it may involve worries or doubts about your relationship.
When you hear a rumor, you might be immediately drawn in and apt to believe it because it hit one of those sore spots for you.
Know what your triggers are and remember to pause and really think about the whole picture before you take any action.
One way to bring yourself some ease after being triggered is to remember to breathe. Recognize that you are getting all worked up about something that you can't be sure is true or untrue.
Take at least 5 slow, deep breaths. Focus only on breathing in and breathing out slowly and from your abdomen. You might need to do this for more than 5 breaths. After this, you can begin to think more clearly about what you have heard and decide what you will do next.
Check the facts.
What we've been getting at throughout this entire message is that it is vitally important that you check the facts.
Calm yourself down and find out who is spreading the rumor about your man. See if you can learn exactly what this person saw or heard.
Double check it all.
If the person who allegedly saw your man having an intimate lunch with another woman witnessed this happen on a Wednesday at 1pm, find out exactly where your man was at 1pm on Wednesday. You can do this without accusing him of anything and without him even knowing about the rumor.
At this point, it is better that he not know about your investigation.
Find out if there are facts that support or discount the rumor. If what you find out for yourself adds credence to the rumor, you'll need to decide whether this seems like enough proof to then confront your man, or take some other action.
If the facts you discover appear to discount the rumor, ask yourself if the suspicions you have require you to gather more information.
Hearing a rumor about your man can be painful and upsetting. It can also be a wake up call. Be sure that, whatever you do, you are proceeding with reliable information and that you continue to stay in touch with what you want and need.
It absolutely makes sense to withhold your judgment of what is actually going on until you have more reliable information to add to the rumor.
Pay attention to the messenger.
Another reason why rumors are often untrue is because, unfortunately, there are some people who do not have your best interests at heart.
Find out who first saw this alleged encounter between your man and another person. Is it possible that the person might have ulterior motives for spreading information like this about him?
Even if you completely trust the person from whom you are hearing this, stop and think about it before taking any action. Could it be that even your best friend-- who was recently cheated on herself-- is just not perceiving things accurately?
Let's be clear here...
Even if you believe that the person spreading the rumors about your man is not a friend and does not have your best interests at heart, we still advise you to check it out. Find out for yourself if there's any merit to what is being
said.
Watch for triggers.
We all have sore spots. This might involve jealousy and it may involve worries or doubts about your relationship.
When you hear a rumor, you might be immediately drawn in and apt to believe it because it hit one of those sore spots for you.
Know what your triggers are and remember to pause and really think about the whole picture before you take any action.
One way to bring yourself some ease after being triggered is to remember to breathe. Recognize that you are getting all worked up about something that you can't be sure is true or untrue.
Take at least 5 slow, deep breaths. Focus only on breathing in and breathing out slowly and from your abdomen. You might need to do this for more than 5 breaths. After this, you can begin to think more clearly about what you have heard and decide what you will do next.
Check the facts.
What we've been getting at throughout this entire message is that it is vitally important that you check the facts.
Calm yourself down and find out who is spreading the rumor about your man. See if you can learn exactly what this person saw or heard.
Double check it all.
If the person who allegedly saw your man having an intimate lunch with another woman witnessed this happen on a Wednesday at 1pm, find out exactly where your man was at 1pm on Wednesday. You can do this without accusing him of anything and without him even knowing about the rumor.
At this point, it is better that he not know about your investigation.
Find out if there are facts that support or discount the rumor. If what you find out for yourself adds credence to the rumor, you'll need to decide whether this seems like enough proof to then confront your man, or take some other action.
If the facts you discover appear to discount the rumor, ask yourself if the suspicions you have require you to gather more information.
Hearing a rumor about your man can be painful and upsetting. It can also be a wake up call. Be sure that, whatever you do, you are proceeding with reliable information and that you continue to stay in touch with what you want and need.
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